Pep Talks

I wonder how many people have very real debate within their minds for control of a positive outlook. What that looks like for everyone else. Is it a short conversation to themselves in the morning while having the first cup of coffee or is it like refereeing a group of athletes with all of their pressure and fears? After having a horrible week I realized I cannot count the number of pep talks I give myself on a daily basis. Honestly it is a constant, all day event some days or weeks depending on the life phase.

You are going to be okay. This situation will work out for good. No, it's not the end of the world and it won't look like this forever. This is just a test. The Lord refines those He loves. Yes, He loves me. He has steadfast, covenant-promised love for my family. I will NOT fail this test this time. God Alone. Tetelesti. It's okay. It's okay. Deep breath. Be thankful in all circumstances. Be thankful. He has me. I am His and He is mine. He is faithful. He has been and He will be.

I might actually repeat these things and more all day.  I wonder if anyone else does this. Learning the concept of taking my thoughts captive has been a lesson I needed to learn. There are times when I catch myself in stupid, wasteful, or sinful thoughts that were allowed to spin out of control. No reign over these kinds of thoughts can change your outlook on life and on other people. No one has control over your mouth or your mind but you.  "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:5.  It is a lot of work though.

Awareness of what is going on between your ears is a practice. Goodness, it can take all your mental energy. That has been my week. I have a lot of time with my own head on the daily and it can take its toll on my heart and my body. Some days I am completely exhausted before dinner because of all the internal fighting. I probably sound like I need to be committed. For what it is worth, being committed for any mental problem is covered 100% by your insurance. Nothing else is, but they want to make sure you are alive so they can keep making money on you. They love to offer me this when I call for other coverage. Um, thanks?

For all of those people who blame their decisions on the voices in their head, I have this to say. You are in control of your mind and we all have our demons who know where to hit us. They know exactly what to say when we are vulnerable. Usually those voices sound similar to our own, otherwise we would recognize an imposter and figure out quickly how to quench it. If those thoughts are left unchecked I believe it is almost as bad as when a person hears something negative about themselves for so long they begin to accept that negativity as a part of who they are. If one is told every day that they are ugly, they will most definitely believe it. Why then would those demons not speak constant whispers about how we fail at every aspect of our lives and then come in with the upper cut of not living up to the holiness that we are in Christ?

But God. Those two words are used all over the Bible and I love them. Bleakness, sin, sorrow, mourning, despair. The list goes on. Then He throws in a But God. He is the definition of overcoming. I have no idea how people manage this life without the Great I Am. He is the refresher and the prize and everything in between in this life.

I picture myself lately on the ground in runners stance getting ready to race. Sometimes it is mid-race and I have fallen and I am getting back up. I give a nod to all of the spectators, take in a deep breath and then shoot a fierce look of determination all around and then fix my gaze upward. I am going to finish this race and finish this race well no matter how many hurdles get in my way. I am still here so there must be good reason. Tomorrow He will give me fresh grace, mercy, forgiveness and wisdom when I ask. Race on.